So its over. Cloudstreet is finally, finally over. I'm free. Its... unusual. Definitely not a bad thing, just a bit weird because I haven't been free for ages. Well, I'm not really free. I've still got school and everything, but I don't really mind everything else. I can do it. It doesn't eat me up inside and make me want to step into heavy traffic. I've finally got a handle on life.
Not that everything's perfect, I suppose. But things just feel easier. Granted, I'm scared that I'm once again approaching anorexia and I can't pull myself out, but without the weight that is Cloudstreet hanging over me, I know my boyfriend and best friend won't let me slip back into that. Even the depression isn't as bad. Its there, but its no where near as horrible as it was the past few weeks. Its nice.
So I've still got a lot of the feelings I had before, but there's just a sense that I can handle things now, or stuff that destroyed me then really isn't a huge deal now. Now I just need to study and have fun in between and try to ward off anything bad, and I reckon I can do that. With everyone around me, in particular Sam and Lian, I finally have some faith in my abilities to, well, Be.
Ah, I do enjoy this. Plus today I only had periods one and two (we made cookies) and then I came home to tidy my desk and sit down for some decent study, which I should be continuing now, and then I have drama in the evening which feels no where near as horrible as it usually does. I could get used to this. Just gotta hope the feeling stays around for a bit.
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